Taking Time to Find Out What People Want

My grandfather turned 90 years old this week.  As long as I’ve been alive, he’s been impossible to shop for.  Now that I’m a working mom, I have less time than ever to figure out what to get him, so I usually just include him in a family gift of tasty treats.  But the man has had quite the life, and this year I really wanted to celebrate it. 

 

When we were out in California visiting my family a few months ago, I tried to pay special attention to what he was doing with his time.  He mentioned taking pictures with his new digital camera and wanting to write down his life story, but even so, I was at a loss as to what to get him for his birthday.  Finally, I came up with a great gift – a digital frame from Kodak to display his pictures electronically, and a small laptop computer with only the basic word processing software loaded on.  My grandfather is mystified by the Internet, so I didn’t want to overwhelm him. 

 

I thought he might like the package, but I was completely unprepared for the flood of emotion that came from a man who usually needs to be prompted to speak up at the dinner table.  He said he hadn’t received a gift this thoughtful since he was 13, and he couldn’t stop saying how much he appreciated my effort to pick out something he would actually want. 

 

I felt a little guilty that I’m 32 years old and had never done this before, and I started thinking that maybe I should do it with more people in my life.  So often, holidays force us to choose meaningless, impersonal presents for our loved ones, presents that end up in the basement or under someone else’s tree.  But why not try to think about what family members, friends or colleagues need on an everyday basis, and devise creative ways to meet those needs?  It doesn’t matter whether the occasion is her birthday or a random Friday in November, or whether it costs a lot or not (my grandfather’s laptop was previously owned).  This is the prime example of a thought that counts.

Comments

[Andre]

Interesting topic. I believe a lot of people go through the same dilemma year in, year out!
I have a very small gift exchange with my friends, and we've been doing this for 7 years now (just 4 of us!), and I still get myself not knowing what to get them...tough!

Good post.

[Alexandra Levit]

Andre - thanks! Have you ever noticed that some people are just "gifted" in this respect? I'm not one of them, though, so I'm very proud of myself when I actually come up with a good present.