Fight Back Against Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Out of sight, out of mind is one of my least favorite qualities of human nature.  I can’t tell you the number of relationships, which I thought were real and lasting, that went bust because I used to see the person every day at school or work and then circumstances changed.

Though I’ve had this happen over and over again, it still disappoints me each time.  I know people are busy – blah, blah – but if someone is fond enough of you to want to spend their lunch hour with you five days a week (as an example), you would think they’d be invested enough to send you an occasional e-mail once the lunch dates have ceased.  But they usually aren’t.  I don’t know if people are just scatterbrained or lazy, or just find it easier to pay attention to someone who has taken my place right in front of them.  They don’t do it to be mean or inconsiderate, but it’s annoying none the less.

Obviously, out of sight, out of mind doesn’t bode well for lots of things pertaining to networking and getting others’ cooperation at work.  The hard truth is, if you want something from someone, you have to proactively get in that person’s line of sight and stay there.  You have to make your needs known and then follow up to make sure they haven’t forgotten about you.  You don’t want to take this too far, of course, in trying to contact someone for help who you don’t know very well.  Instead of succumbing to stalker networking, practice what I call the 3/6 rule.  Contact the person three times in a six week period – once every two weeks – starting with e-mail and graduating to phone.  If they don’t get back to you after that, move on.  As my grandmother used to say, there will be another bus along in a minute. 

Comments

[Alexandra Levit]

Thanks, Joselle. I always say that if I say one thing someone can use, then my day was well spent.

[Joselle Palacios]

I really like that 3/6 rule. It's enough contact to be remembered by someone who is willing and able to help but not stalker-like to scare people away!

[Alexandra Levit]

Nan, I love it!

[Nan]

I refer to that as "situational friendship."

[paige]

Great post!